Overthinking: Consider This Perspective
What Doesn't Work With Thoughts
We all get stuck in our heads sometimes—dwelling on that awkward comment we made last night or obsessing over an upcoming challenge. Often, we take our thoughts at face value, like believing “I’m such a failure” without question. Or, we try to fight them, forcing ourselves to think positively or panicking when a negative thought creeps in.
But here’s the issue: the harder we try to push away or change our thoughts, the louder and more persistent they become. This mental struggle also takes our energy away from focusing on what truly matters in life.
So, let’s explore a better approach: learning how to break free from overthinking, intrusive thoughts, and negativity using a technique from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) called cognitive defusion.
Why Fighting Thoughts Doesn’t Work
Our brains are designed to amplify what we focus on. For example, once you start noticing a specific type of car, like a pewter suburban, you suddenly see them everywhere. This is because your brain learns to prioritize what you’re paying attention to.
The same thing happens with intrusive thoughts. If you react strongly to a thought, like “That was terrible—I should never think that again,” your brain concludes that this thought is important and flags it for constant attention.
Similarly, struggling against thoughts, like forcing yourself to think, “I’ll ace that test!” when you're worried about failing, only adds to the mental noise. This back-and-forth makes it harder to focus on what you need to do, like actually studying.
A Better Way: Cognitive Defusion
Cognitive defusion helps you step back from your thoughts instead of getting tangled in them. Rather than believing or fighting them, you observe them, separate yourself from them, and focus on your values—what truly matters to you.
Here’s how you can practice cognitive defusion:
Notice Your Thoughts
Shift from “I’m not good enough” to “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.” This small change reminds you that thoughts are just mental events, not facts.Observer Exercise
Close your eyes and notice your thoughts without judging or trying to change them.
Label each thought as “thinking.” For example, if you think, “I need to do laundry,” simply note it as “thinking about laundry.”
Imagine watching your thoughts on a movie screen—you’re the audience, and the thoughts are just passing scenes.
Shift your attention to your body, like noticing your breath or how your chair feels beneath you. This grounds you in the present moment and highlights the distinction between you (the observer) and your thoughts.
Use Metaphors
Imagine your thoughts as chess pieces on a board—you’re not the pieces; you’re the board where they play out.
Or picture your mind as a sports announcer narrating your life. When you have a thought like, “I’m going to mess up this presentation,” respond with, “Thanks for the commentary, mind. Back to preparing!”
Try Humor or Writing
Say negative thoughts in a silly voice or imagine them as a cartoon character to make them less intimidating.
Write your thoughts down, starting with “I’m having the thought that…” or call them “stories” your mind is creating.
Why It Works
By stepping back from your thoughts, you create space to focus on what truly matters to you—whether it’s being present with loved ones, pursuing your passions, or simply enjoying the moment.
Cognitive defusion takes practice. It’s not about erasing your thoughts but learning to observe them without getting caught up in them. Over time, this skill can bring greater clarity, peace, and freedom to live in alignment with your values.
Keep experimenting with different techniques, and remember, your thoughts are just that—thoughts. They’re not facts, and they don’t define you.
